Debonairness personified.
I know that with success comes jealousy. I admit I used to flaunt my english quite a bit in sec 1 and 2. Who wouldnt? It's like having powers beyond what others have. Obviously my english is not the best of the best, nor is it amongst the upper reaches of the language yet. Everyone was immature once, but for some, they still are.
What's with the detracting of my english? I dont show off, I dont act superior and most of all I dont despise ppl with average english abilities, for I know that each has his own strengths. Will it make you feel better aft denouncing someone's strength, giving urselves false hope that you can do better than me in english. I know I can take criticisms pretty well, but it's not a prerogative that is entitled to me. I didnt have to look up the dictionary for that word fyi.
Things like "
Aiya, every line must have at least 3 chim words" and "
Go dictionary and anyhow put the words inside and hand in to teacher" hurts, moreover they are from friends, ppl whom you least expect to demoralise you, and to stand by you when you are down.
Obviously, the insults had no direct adverse effect on me, just that it made me understand what's "With age comes maturity, but sometimes age comes alone." Writing something off does nothing but to delude urself, thinking that it's easy to possess good linguistic abilities, not knowing what I did to come so far. I did not spend days and days of reading and brushing up on my english during my pri sch days for nothing. Now, I continue to refine my english, to the detriment of my various other subjects. But I have no regrets, for in this field of expertise, I prefer to be someone of the best, rather than a "
Jack of all trade, master of none".
I dont take kindly to negative comments about my english, nor sarcastic ones. Actually it applies to everything. If you dont know how to appreciate, please just spare me the trouble and fuck off. Recognise others' talent and give due credit, and not criticise just because I am better than you, or anyone for a matter of fact. The fact still remains that I am better in english. But that doesnt mean I am resting on my laurels or anything. I know how important marks are, but when I say I dont do it for the marks, ppl's reaction just shows that they think I am just concocting an excuse for my poor results. Hell, I wouldnt have wanted to care about it if not for my future.
In my 2 recent essays, Fear and Predator & Prey, I took much more time than I was allocated to finish them. And they got some unwanted attention. I dont like ppl to bootlick my essays, esp when I know it's not that well done. Btw, bootlick and praising are 2 different things. To me, bootlick has a sence of sarcasm in it, some form of insincerity.
I find nothing wrong in doing an essay for more than 5 hrs. I dont do it for the sake of doing it. I do it because I want to do my best and gauge how much time I need to think up of a scenario in a certain time. That is the way of the perfectionist. That's me. Take it or leave it.
I watched an online lecture recently. It's from a dying prof who teaches ppl how to live. Randy Pausch is his name. He gives some extraordinary quotes which struck me as awe-inspiring. Like "Walls in life are only there to separate those who really want to do something from those who just say they want to. Now, I am only halfway between the transition from the latter to the former. I know I have been giving empty promises last time. But now is the time to get serious.
"We cant change the cards we are dealt, just how the way we play the hand." Make use of the resources you have to work things out. It's like we cant choose the place we are born in, but we can choose where we want to go, which is how to play the hand.
Eternal flame.
Blogged at 11:52 pm
