Biography

Hola. Cómo está?
My name is Chuz.
Or you could call me Zenn.

I'm a computer & chilli addict :D

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CCKSS
SP - Architecture


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Contempt of dark horses.

Sometimes, I just wan to stay and rot at home, doing nothing but eat, sleep, play.
But I know that will be my life aft Os, so might as well study now than to shoot myself in the leg.
I dont wan to regret what I didnt do.
Darn maths, stupid formulae to rmb.

I have a short term goal; to mash up a song.
I think it's gonna take some time.

Havent been doing any pshop recently, gotta get rid of the rust soon, else the termites will come to stay.

There's barely anything interesting of late, except for some reads I have been browsing.
Mostly been gaming, and I still have loads of things undone, no thanks to the hectic week.
Now's a break, if you call it that, before we finish up the prelims, which sucks imo.
I hate saturdays and sundays, an absolute waste of time.
I'd rather be in sch, where I will at least be learning something interesting.

It just amuses me just how effortlessly you struck me out of the equation, when the game is just going to start.
It doesnt take a lot to underestimate someone, but it sure is taking an unbridled risk in trying that on me.
A gem unpolished is still a gem.

My blog is drying up, shriveling up like a dying spider.

Bring it on, potential is out of the equation.

White hair come early.

Damn prelims.
How often does stress comes to me?
Almost never.
And I hate it most when I am superbly ill-prepared.
Even if this is supposed to act as a gauge for me, I doubt it will be a true reflection of what is to come in my Os.
But it has certainly fulfilled its mission - put undue stress on me.
If only they would give us the time to study ourselves; which is a much better thing to do than to sit in class for another mock exam.

A pri sch gathering is coming up, and I am skipping xcountry to go for it.
Like duh, I hate running long dist ever since I was 40.
I am hoping the idea of an outing will materialise into something real.

I have some good news!
I am gaining fats!
Hooray!

I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate prelims.

The centurial post.

Number 100!

It's not a lot but still something to be proud of.
Unlike ppl who join the blogosphere and leave as fast as they joined.

Studied at BPP ytd, in summary, covered 1 topic and read 2 books.
Hate studying in the cold; cant concentrate that well.

It's been raining the past few days, and making me drowsy.
Stupid prelims are approaching too, hopefully my brain would serve me well, and not malfunction at such an inept time.

From now on, I shall psycho myself to motivate myself.
I am clever.
I am a genius.
I am talented.

*Not recommended for ppl who fall short of these abilities. It's self-delusional for ppl who dont have the qualities to show for.

Mental note to self: Repeat that everyday.

It's amusing to see how ppl dont practise what they preach. I am one of them too, and it's funny how ppl contradict themselves in trying to put down what others are doing.

lovely freedom.

Discovery of awe.

Omg, I just realised I am stuck in a rut, and no one but myself can pull me out.
I was digging out all my worksheets of sec 3 & 4, and I found loads of stuff which I am oblivious to.
So, catching up isnt as easy as I thought.
But it's a need, a must, a paramount task that supersedes all else.

I have to sharpen and refine my blunt sticks, hitherto, into razor-sharp swords to slaughter the wild boar... nono, the O lvls.
It's sucidal to go into war with sticks and stones, like the primitive men who have no inkling of what is a sword.
I will take it that guns do not exist, hence swords are the best I can lay my hands on.
P.s. If I had a gun, I wouldnt be here.

Damn the stomachache which has been bugging me since recess.
It is still hurting, and iono if it's also connected to my rib pain.
I dont think I can do anything extreme until it gets btr.
I cant fucking breathe properly. I cant die at this point of time, can I?

There is always a time to work and also a time to joke, but apparently some guy tried too hard to add humour to his monotonous work by cracking a joke which obviously wasnt funny, and which insulted a customer.
The joke went like this:

Customer: "One coffee, please."

Owner: "How to make that? I don't know how to make 'coffee-please'."

I think the owner was just trying to test the limits of stupidity, and he certainly got the record.
Our older generation has got to change their attitudes towards anglophiles, and not thinking that speaking english is an act of acting sophisticated.
And trying to inject jokes, while commendable, is just too much for some to take.
There was a discussion on this in the newspaper.
An entry by Francis Chin was quoted as saying:
Oh, lighten up
I am not here to judge Mr Tay's tone when he replied but I will give him the benefit of the doubt.

Singaporeans have to lighten up and have some sense of humour. What Mr Tay replied with was quite humourous. Even if Mr Tay sounded impolite, he meant it to be humourous.

I'd rather have funny polite Singlish than stiff upper lip politeness anytime.

I know everyone is entitled to their opinions, but I dont like how he phrased it, which sounded like as though we are always serious. At least we are serious when we get to work, which is much better than trying too hard to joke around, unless your profession is a clown or a comedian. With his second comment, I presume his sense of humour is satirical, that or he missed out a word "not". It needs to understood that not everyone is that forebearing to be able to tolerate that kind of impundence. I certainly cant. I also have this niggling feeling that the owner purposely picked on the senior citizen, perhaps looking like a easy taunting target. I know for sure that the owner would not have done so if it were a gangster with tattoos all over towering over him. The selective treatment is what is making me indignant for the old man. Unless he can show that he treats everyone this way, I will look at him with contempt right in his face.
I would love to see this kind of shop owners cower under the shadow of a gangster, not daring to be a smart aleck. Damn these noobs.

Aura of confidence.

Life analysis.

Eureka!
I need a effing timetable to organise myself, to keep track of what I am supposed to do.
I hope that it will help keep me to my schedule, hence able to move forward rather than stoning at home everyday.

Aft much cerebration, I have to say my english is not as good I as have perceived it to be.
Having a wide range of vocabulary under you doesnt mean you will do well in english.
Neither does having near-perfect grammar.
At least for me, who cant seem to score for paper 1, 2 & 3.
In this world where results triumphs over potential, it is hard for me to thrive, when my potential is muted.
I am also very inconsistent, with marks for compos only ranging from 19-21, due to my lack of expressiveness in my ideas.

I want to keep my memories, which are fading away every second.
I want to be able to look at my secondary school friends in my dying years, recognise the faces and cry at the wonderful memories that I had with them.
Not forgetting my glorious pri sch years.

Not regretting my love.

Reluctance to release.

I had this sudden urge to post just to let out all my feelings.
I am like trying to numb myself by playing games, which I am aware of the promise I made and the effects gaming will have on me.
If only I could will myself to finish all the hw that is waiting for me.
But that I cant, with games being my method of escapism from life.
I have to say I am not interested in doing anything now, other than to sort out my thinking, which is blocking out my mind.

It is unwise to go into a r/s, esp at this time, for I have noticed, once it starts, you either continue with it or you take the hard way out.
I am still sitting on the fence on this issue, for everything comes with its pros and cons.
But it is not wrong to say there is no bad time for a r/s, as long as you can manage.

Let's talk about what I hate.
I hate ppl who are:
- Retarded
- Idiotic
- Immature
- Blantant plagiarisers

That alr constitutes half the world's population.
I am not saying I am none of the above, but it just irks me, even if it's me.
I can name a few in my class off-handedly, whom I have detested since quite sometime ago.
I didnt like to offend ppl in the past, but I am not afraid to name names if the situation permits.
This is, afterall, my own opinion.
You dislike me?
Tag it down.
There is nothing more than misconceptions that I hate most.
And it is unfair to compare a retard with a normal teen. Okay?

I think I need to go to sleep, to be able to think the whole day tmr.

I will still be here.

Concentrate!

Hell yeah, I am going to retake my MT, partly because I was forced to, but mainly because I am striving for a better and more presentable result befitting of my intelligence.
But I am worried; effing worried for my future.
My studies are at risk of failing if I dont reassert my self-discipline to push for the next few months to come.
My main concerns are maths, geog, physics and computer studies.
Physics and maths are linked, formula-based subjects, while geog and computer studies are memory-based subjects.

Today's oral was totally random; the theme being hairdressing.
I did pretty okay, only that I paused very sporadically during the reading and I had an awfully long pause during picture discussion.
Those were the only blemishes on my oral.
I am proud to say I kept my nerves with me, which I have not been able to do for any of my previous orals.
But damn the conversation question.
I didnt have time to think of an answer for my favourite hairstyle, and since I didnt have one, I bullshitted one out.
I made it through nonetheless.

I have no idea why I was not involved in the public apology.
Not that I am dying to have a role in it, but I feel I should at least face up to what I have done, instead of just sitting behind the class, and have others think negatively of you.
I would prefer others to say I am an ingeniuous cheater instead of a coward, who doesnt dare to step up to the podium to apologise.
But since it's over, I'll just let it be.
But I am here to clarify that it was not that I didnt have the guts to step up there and apologise, but that I was not given the chance.

How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but only if the bulb really wants to change itself.
I am changing myself for the sake of myself.
I know words are useless in promising that I will change, only to turn them into empty promises.
Hence, I will show by example, that I am adamant on changing, for nothing but the better.

I know The Dark Knight is a good show, and that the joker has left a deep impression on some ppl with his quotes.
BUT.
Can I fucking appeal to some retards to stop using his catchphrase just because it is nice?
You know what?
You wouldnt turn into the Joker just because you use his pet phrase.
Instead, you sound more like a retarded kid trying to learn words off the TV.
It not only leaves an indelible scar in ppl's memories but also make my goosebump rise as high like a rocket would.
So please, may I beseech all the retards to stop insulting the joker and to respect it instead?

It's not stopping me from falling.

I cannnnnnnnnt wait.

Zammit, I cant wait for sch to start.
I am going to lord over the minions as soon as I get back.
It's gonna be sooo fun. But I have spent my most of my suspension in solitude, barely doing any studying.
The saving grace is that I get to spend valuable time to reflect and enjoy the stress free period, which will be coming to an end.

National day is here and gone in a flash.
How much I have missed it, the rehearsals, trainings and the joy and pride in participating in NDP 2005.
6 months of pure hard work and coordination, to result in a gratifing finale.
But this year seems a bit muted to me, perhaps because I missed the sch's version of it.
It also brings across a message; it's august alr, and I am still ill-prepared for O lvls.
I just hope that I will make it in time. God bless me.

This is one fucking cool ring.
I'd love to have it, just for the stylistic design and the glow-in-the-dark apple.



Perfectionism, a strength or a flaw?
I take it as a strength which I have, but if I were to have more self discipline, I have to toss it out of the window, which I am unwilling to.
All of this is due to it stopping me from doing things that I cant make perfect, which means I will not do it, which will stop me dead in my tracks.
So to keep or to kill? I cant make a choice.

Kewt.

Perseverance truly pays off.

Awed by what tenacity can do to me.
Or perhaps it's blind faith.
Either way, it's the same; strength in holding on till the very last minute.
That is what self-talk has done to me, but I am seriously imagining wayyyy too many things.
Something that is simple can be blown out of proportion.
Someday, I will turn paranoid by thinking too much, and I alr am.

Today was a weird day.
I was hungry supposedly, but due to some internal and external factors, I didnt feel hungry at all, not even when I have not eaten since when I woke up.
That is something I hope is not ominous, esp at such a crucial time of my life, when I have just seen the light.

Money No Enough 2 is not too bad a show, considering it's home-made.
Not that I have anything against local products, but the truth is that movies of other countries are better.
Okay, the jokes are rather funny, the kinship scenes are touching, but but but I think their placing of the humour aft the touching scenes spoil it, even though it may have been funny in a different context.
It was moving to the point that I almost cried.

I need to work on my maths, FAST.
I have got a lot of topics to catch up on, and time is wasted as the days pass.
Stress is good to thrive on, but I hate having too much stress, and that's the situation I am in right now.
But this is not a case of "What goes up must come down".
Now, it will only go up at a phenomenal pace, and I cant even catch up, not by myself that is.
I gotta have to try harder before it's game over for me.

I will fight for my everything.

See the light from a different angle.

The suspension is something I have no intention of having.
It may seem like a break for some, but it's a torture for me.
I dont get to go back to sch. What for, most will exclaim, sch is such a bore.
But seriously, I dont like the feeling of not being in sch, laughing and having fun.
But at least I still get to see you.
But of course, I will make full use of this time to catch up on my studies, which we will miss for 4 whole days.
Luckily some teachers are not in sch for the time being; some are out on camp and leave.
This will prove vital to my improvement and reduce the gulf btwn me and the class.

And for those who are gloating over our misfortune, it wouldnt be soon before long before you all realise we are the ppl who are gonna have the last laugh.
It all applies to everyone who are in this category, be it friends, enemies, future employers, schools.
I have no qualms in saying it will be anyone's loss to condemn me as hopeless.
I am fucking multi-talented and I am not afraid to show it, nor am I afraid that there are no ppl who would be glad to have me as an affliate in one way or another.
I am not as soft as I used to be. Try me once and you will not want to try it again.

Today was the totally fruitless, spending my time in sch waiting for ppl and playing at my house.
But I managed to redeem myself by going to Mac for a study session earlier today.
I learnt LOADS of stuff; maths, a subject which I find hard to cope.
There will be a get-together from tmr onwards, with the focus being studying.

I WANT SELF-DISCIPLINE.
Worry not, I am training it up, by talking to myself.
No, seriously it works. But only for those who know how.
And I am not going to reveal the secret manual of a thousand years, being passed down from generations to generations.

Your voice, my love.

Calmness exemplified.

I won a battle but I lost the war. Beaten to a pulp.
First of all, I have surpassed myself in photo manipulation, single-handedly holding up IT Club.
Never have I imagined that I could do superimposing on my first attempt, very well done too at that.
But it has also proved to be a double-edged sword, stabbing me in the heart.
Today's Food&Funfair, both a success and a fiasco.
I lost several CIP hours, but gained maturity.
The ear-stick catcher is back, popping into my second home, just to confiscate my ear-stick.
How bo liao is that.

Mr Kong described me as "Soft" and "Unmotivated" . Indeed I am, staying beneath his aegis, learning as time goes by.
He made me realise how much I give in to ppl, and however much I am forced, but still not study.
This is truly something worthy of change, something of an advantageous edge later in life if properly utilised.

I hate sleeping at night, right after dinner, which makes me sleepy.
It makes me lose precious time to start on what I want to do, hence having to stay up late, resulting in waking up late, a serious repercussion.

I love fats, but they just dont like me.
In my attempt to lure Mr fat over, I scareded him away.
I took only 1 meal today, my dinner, having skipped the previous 2 meals.

Coveted angel you are.