Biography

Hola. Cómo está?
My name is Chuz.
Or you could call me Zenn.

I'm a computer & chilli addict :D

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Thats about me.

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Are you?

It's sunday. And it's ending soon. At least monday will be a short day, since it's teacher's day celebration.

I found out that I can study better at home, even though where I study, there is the computer facing my back, tempting me to switch it on. I didnt switch on the comp for the whole of saturday, and that in itself, is an accomplishment.

So what have I studied? Physics and maths; more of the former. And, I'm pretty confident that I will not be with Mr Lau aft the re-prelim for Physics; which can only be done by scoring within one of the top 10 positions. Kind of makes me wonder if my Sci A1 is finally down.

Also, I have set another resolution. It's much easier to accomplish, considering my avid interest in it. I'm going to read 10 pages of the dictionary in detail everyday. I've calculated that it will take me 190 days to finish it; but I happen to only have 60 odd to work with. I still believe with that 1/4 of that book, I can score a 6 for language for summary. 5 is not enough for my A1.


I'm still waiting to see, if it is going to happen again.


Hard work. It has always irked me to see people who work hard, and in the end, get rewarded with good prospects; something which I feel they do not deserve. Yes, working hard is a quality well sought after. But alongside that quality, should be other qualities which are worthy of praise, such as a touch of wit, genius or some brains. From what I see, a hardworking person with no brains or no skills should just become a slave, since that's what that person will excel in. I'm that harsh. The fact is that companies look for talent WITH the ability to work hard, not only the latter alone. Memorisation skills alone does not warrant a place anywhere. At least grow some brains.

I may sound sore, but that's the real deal; which will show with time. I just hope that when that time arrives, no one is crying.

First impressions.

First impressions are important, but they do not truly reflect what the person really is like. I'm often a victim of misjudged first impressions; in that my first impressions of people don't usually match with what they are like. It's like, what I see, just gives me a negative first impression. And often, I'm mistaken. It's good to be proven wrong though, since the better side of people is much more pleasing to be with.


I'm really studying now, but I got a tinge of fear that it may be a case of "too little, too late". I thought I will be able to manage my late push, but some estimations brings me closer than ever to a harsh reality; that I may not make it to revise everything. Nevertheless, trying doesn't hurt.

I am like studying sec 2 maths now, all thanks to Mdm Koh. She's not a bad teacher, it's just that my absorption rate of knowledge under her is like a rock. So that's what led to my A to F. So I'm going back in hope that I can turn back the tide and go for an A again. The best of luck and effort I will need.


If it is not meant to be yours, let it go. If it ever comes back, it's yours.

It has started.

Hi there. You prolly wouldn't get to see much of me online after today, since I have set down a resolution(again?!?!?) not to come online unless the day spells SUNDAY. After a break down of what I am doing online everyday, I realised that it is mostly spent stoning with firefox or staring at DotA. To forego all these for a better result, it's definitely worth it. If only I had thought of this last year. Could have been in the first batch of Advertising and Public Relations then. No time for regrets, only time for studying.


Prelims results are all back, lo and behold, english was the only subject I did well in, as compared to the others; B3 if you are curious. It's time to rectify things. A fucking B3 isn't enough; it isn't even close to satisfactory.

Really, fuck the Chinese retake. It's not like "OH! I'm enlightened! I can finally do well for Chinese!". What it will do is to waste my precious time which can be spent studying for other more impt subjects, like maths or science.


Change is imminent; I can do well to be less resistant to change. Gotta spot change before it comes too. Didnt know that a elementary book can teach me that, in simplified terms. It's time to stop thinking that the old cheese will still be there, and start looking forward to new cheese. Hard but achievable.




I'm loving my wallpaper.

Peering into the future.

It doesn't look good, at least for now. People are like beanbags, with different beans in them, each containing a different quality, which makes up their personality, some unique, some normal. I guess mine is unique, but "being different doesn't mean being useful". That's for at this point of time.

For one, I envy people who can write essays of words just when their hands touch the keyboards or a pen. Knowing a lot of words but failing to use them is like having a lot of puzzle pieces but not knowing how to join them together to form a magnificent masterpiece.

Sometimes things happen to you that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair at first, but in reflection you find that without overcoming those obstacles you would have never realized your potential, strength, willpower, or heart.

Without failure, you will never know success.

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough "Hellos" to get you through the final "Goodbye".

I guess it will be a pity, but it cant be helped. The only thing left is for time to heal. The future holds promise, look forward to it.

Reality Check.

Mdm prema talked to the Band 1 english band which I am in. Prelims was not up to expectations for most, and I think the same of O levels. For me, the paper 1 was a huge pitfall. First time I ever failed my compo I suppose. On topic, but my theme was deemed too macabre. and woe be with the situational question. It was kind of hard, but at least my language is still there; it's the content which I have to improve on.


YES! I finally finished and can relieve my shoulders of the burden of F&N coursework. I feel a tinge of regret that I retook F&N when I could have dropped it. It then could have given me 7 free periods to catch up on my other subjs. Too late to regret now; it's almost at the finishing line.


Shields and armours. I have a thick shield but weak armour. It's not really useful since a well-timed thrust can decapitate, or kill. Having a strong armour turns me off though. Maybe defence is not the way to go. Neither do I think offence will work. It's neither left nor right.


Pulling the trigger is what matters. If you don't, you wouldn't even know if its a hit or miss. Either way, you learn.

Know not what's stopping me.

If you don’t go after what you want, you’ll never have it. If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t step forward, you’re always in the same place.

We all need to decide whether to “play it safe” in life and worry about the downside, or instead take a chance, by being who we really are and living the life our heart desires. Which choice are you making?

I am at the same place, prolly never did move. There is the building of the campfire, the showing of the matchstick, striking of the matchstick, keeping the fire burning and inevitably also the extinguishing of the fire. I'm like always building, but never have I once showed the matchstick. That's because of fear, probably. Even if I drop or have my matchstick taken away, at least I can take solace in that I have tried. So, probably soon, just not sure when.


English Oral was alright, except that I am kind of indignant that the examiners did not allow much pauses, even short ones, but really overall it was pretty easy. Although travelling and shopping arent my stuff, I still got a huge load of bullcrap in my bank to last me through it.

For the very first time since forever, I passed my 2.4km run. It sure is an accomplishment, for it took 3 serious runs to get it down to the passing point, and I barely made it; by 4 seconds. It's not the award I'm even aiming for; its the sense of achievement by persevering. It's not easy to cultivate or train a mentality that brings about endurance, at least for me.


I love everyone. I really do.

3 hours rush for success.

Is 3 hours enough to mug for English Oral, SS test & Geog test? I guess, by absorbing the key points and compromising the overall quality, for SS & Geog. English oral is a must-ace, esp when it's there for the taking.


From tomorrow onwards, I will add 1 to a counter for everytime I am online before 9pm. At the end of the week, I will practise maths for that amount of hours. Radical ways ftw. So, I can prolly infringe the rule and force myself to study maths, either way it's a win-win. I'm gonna rape that TYS.


Fuck, I've got so many things to do till I don't know where to start. For one, my F&N coursework A is back to haunt me, and I have 2 major parts missing, although I'm rather surprised that I have some areas in the A category. So I'll prolly concentrate more on F&N and eke out an A2, or a B3 at the least.


All work and no play makes chuz a dull boy. All play and no work makes chuz a slacker. Half work and half play makes chuz a pro. Too bad balancing work and play is like balancing on a tightrope.

There is a good point to playing games. Take Sims 3 for an example. I am kind of hooked onto Sims 3. It teaches me the concept of time, where every minute is precious, and everyday that passes should be made full use of. I've grasped that concept, but have yet to apply it to my life.

Red Alert 3 teaches me the concept of strategy, or in academic terms, studying smart. The point of the game is to win, by building more powerful units than your opponents and learning how to outwit them. Academically, that would mean I have to perfect my trump cards which I'm going to use, L1R4 if you dont understand, and get into my course.

Dragonica teaches me the idea of combos, which means to do things in succession, which is to revise and apply what I have studied when translated to studying. If you execute a wrong combination, it wouldnt work as well, or it wouldnt work at all, so there is a need to do things right, and there is only one chance for that.

DotA teaches me the power of teamwork and concentration. With teamwork, nothing can stand in your way, so you can just bulldoze your way through. It then translates to learning from and depending on others for help until you are fit enough to fly by yourself. Concentration is a vital skill, as it helps to allow you to farm well. Academic terms would be to focus on key areas and not give up even when you are feeding(failing).

Okok, those above are actually bullshit, but at least I have something to back me up if anyone asks. Bullshit is still useful for as long as you are not the boss. It brings you up the corporate ladder, or it makes people SMILE. GMH ftw.


I really hate to break it to you.

Ravenly.

People put you down enough you start to believe it. The bad stuff is easier to believe, you ever notice that?

How true is that really? I hope something related to that, like compliments and insults kind of thing comes out for oral, and I bet I will be able to pour out my thoughts like a river, which inconsequentially will lead to a A for oral. Like fag I can write an essay out right here right now. Wider issues questions ftw.


Kay, now is the time to be serious. I'm lagging behind, on all fronts. I really hate maths, so I will do maths first. After you conquer the highest mountain, all others will appear like molehills. But got this effing obstacle, SS test tmr, which is going to take up alllllllllllll my time today.


I think, I made a breakthrough in my reading of passages, after 2 hours of hardcore whispering to myself in the detention room revising oral. Now I hope my picture discussion is the weakest, because I hate to read like fail.


There is going to be a prom this year, which I doubt I will attend, when I dont even know like more than half the people there. If it were last year, I'd have gone if everyone went. Would have been a riot of a time.


Wow, I totally love quotes, its like motivation.

When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, never give up then, for that is just the time that the tide will turn.

When love is lost, do not bow your head in sadness; instead, keep your head up high and gaze at the stars because that is where your broken heart has been sent to heal, and remember, we gather strength from sadness and from pain. Each time we die, we learn to live again.

Obviously not by me, or I wouldn't be where I am now.

Hey I invented retards!

This is what I call brains

HAI! I'm back again.


So my new comp came back, and rather predictably, the first things I stuck myself onto are games. But I guess I have to force myself to stop, or refrain from playing so much, soon.

With hard work comes results, a principle I've known, but living by it only reluctantly, because I believe talent wins over hard work. Not that my beliefs can override the !@^%$^# of the education system, so it all boils down to adaptation.

With my revamped comp, I can do many more things that I've always wanted but limited by my hardware, or the lack thereof, previously. So now, I can do more, like, large scale Photoshop, Flash, C++, Sony Vegas, and countless others. That's why I dont even know where to begin. Maybe, I will start with my studies. That's going to be much more useful in the short term.


I wonder, if conflicting beliefs can overlap. "Pessimists see the difficulty in every opportunity; Optimists see the opportunity in every difficulty" is something I read somewhere. It's kind of hard to live with just one side, for if you are an out and out optimist, you will fail to learn from your mistakes, for "Mistakes are only mistakes when you fail to learn from them". If you only see opportunities, you will fail to see where you went wrong, since everything, good or bad, that happens is your responsibility, whether it is or it is not your fault. And the same goes for pessimists; if you keep staring at the door which closed on you, you will never notice other doors which are open for you. Temperance is best.


Oh yes, I realised, it was National Day yesterday. Didnt do nuts for it, since I was busy with my computer. And I read somewhere that the public alarm system would ring at 8.22pm for the pledge, but too bad it didnt, so I missed it too.


Cant wait for Family day's carnival.



I know I've been grunting about this since forever, but I'm going to do it again.
I
Effing
Hate
Poor
English

That's kind of a change from what I used to dislike. I dont dislike people, but I dislike the the lack of effort being put in for english. Hello? It's motherfucking-easy-english? Granted, not everyone has a good foundation to base their skyscrapers on, but it's not to say a little effort to strengthen the base will hurt. It may be ignorant to judge from a view from a pedestal, but that's the harsh reality where english is the most common medium of communication in almost everywhere. A step for english, a stride for yourself?


MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODERATION.

Fuck this, I'm gonna take it by the neck.

Hai noobs.

I'm feeling fucking high now, as in the 'i'm at the top of the world' kind.


Today was NDP celebration in school. Let's talk about the positives.
It was a half day.
It was fun laughing at faggots on stage.

Now on to the negatives.
Was late.
Stupid people all around.
VP talking out of his hat.


My comp is coming back soon. And that's goddamn great, because I will be able to do what I want instead of being locked down by this fail laptop.

Everyone has a flaw, it's just about when you find out about it.

Let the battle BEGIN!

WOOHOO! I'm really thinking that, the night study I attended today was the most fruitful, even compared to that of last years'. (Actually, I dont have to compare with last year, last year was just epic fucking fun night studies)

So, I did like one chapter of the TYS, not a bad haul considering that I'm basically tripping over my toes for maths. (Y) lcmz. Kinda ironic that I know nuts about doing LCM and HCF.

My A1 is within sight, and soon, it will be within grasp. Watch me.


YES! MY F&N COURSEWORK B IS OVERRRRRR! REJOICE AND PARTY! POP THE CHAMPAGNES!

Prolly too early to celebrate, but its worth two pats on the back that I finished it on time.


I wanna go back, to the old days, when the phone would ring, and I knew it was you. Old days are the best. I fear the link has not been broken.


I cant believe I managed to get past today, with a fatigued mind. I almost turned insane. At least, I talk more when I'm crazy.


A flame resurrected.

Gives me nothing, but hope.

Fug. My weekends are blasted just like that, practically sleeping the whole time. Left with 6 hours or less with my homework, depending on if I succumb to Runescape or not.


So, my thoughts are leading me astray; not in the bad sense but in the sense that I'm going insane. Things like, why are there so many retards in this world, why FML is more popular than GMH, why extroversion lords over introversion, why ppl hide behind facades, why everything is as such, why I'm so addicted to bubbletea and many more.


Fuck. I want my comp back asap, else I cant make any advances in knowledge with this fucking fail of a laptop.








K, back to slack.