Aloof.
Today, I attended the second Graduation assembly in CCKSS. Not an honour, and certainly not fun as well - at least for me. This year is very much scaled down, leaving the video making to the AVA and some people from 4/1 - compared to last year when classes did their own videos. It's good and bad in ways. Good because it helps to prevent people from making totally retarded videos with Windows Movie Maker. But on the other hand, it muffles the video making skills of those who have them; I'm not referring to myself for the latter, but I definitely do not belong to the former.
It would have been meaningful to others, and it was to me as well, but for entirely different reasons. They would have gone there for the memories and the graduation itself, while I went to disseminate the speech. And I sure picked up a lesson or two. Firstly, my principal is hypocritical. She says that there were a lot of helpers from the alumni in the previous years, but this year seems as if there is not many. Know what? I brought some of the ex-students to night study, and they were disallowed entry. The next day, Mrs tang said that you should not bring OUTSIDERS to school. Sure, that makes for a good welcome-back gift for them eh. Stop on the H1N1 already. It have not and is currently not and will not affect any of the students. If you are so afraid, you might as well close down the school. That would certainly save everyone's asses wouldn't it?
Next up are speeches by students. I am not picking bones or fights here, but I really beg to differ with some of the points and motivational words said. Someone mentioned that you are not competing with others, but you are competing with yourself to push the limit(somewhere along that line). However, in whichever way you look at it, and however much you try to deny, the fact remains that you are indeed competing, intensely at that, with others. You can get a mediocre result, and claim that you did your best, but ultimately, if you go nowhere, it is pointless. That statement sounds delusional to me.
Sure, I believe in motivation, but it should be that it really inspires and motivates, not deluding and falsifying.
I am motivated to do well, and it is not because of the motivation thrown around this afternoon. It will be to prove people wrong, and the first on the list will be the teachers. I'm going to do this only for myself, and dont try and claim credit that you helped me a lot on my journey to graduation. The only way this school helped me would be that they sold textbooks in school and that they gave me a second chance. That would be all. Of course some teachers have helped tremendously; Mdm Prema, Mr Kong, Ms Chow and some others who have helped one way or another.
I must be crazed, but I am liking what I'm doing, even though I cant find the reason why. If the plan capitulates, it may mean a time for an alternate measure. It's the things not the person.
Blogged at 8:30 pm
