The sky's the limit.
I've 2 issues to blog about. Perhaps 3, we'll see.
First up is limits. Ever since young, I've never had any limiting factor forced on me, which gave me lots of freedom, which for a fact is good for growth. Thing was, I abused it, which made me think up to this point, that there is no limits to anything.
No, I am not blaming my current character on my upbringing. I just hope to identify myself more by blogging this down. The first kind of limit I am talking about is, in example, no limits to what time I can sleep, no limits to what time I can stay out, no limits to how early or late I can eat my meals. There is no set guideline for me, which lets me do what I want.
However, I'm now suffering from the consequences of that. Those non-limits translated themselves into 'there is no limits to when I will do my homework', which led me on a landslide in my academic progress. Even now, I still cannot properly set a limit to when I will do my work, which affects my academic results greatly.
At least now that I know what's wrong, I will be able to rectify that part of me. I've also read of a method to banish procrastination, but I don't have the ability to type it down such that it's understandable. After all, I'm only good with words; singularly.
The second thing is, up till recently, I have not really looked at people properly, I just look at the person once, and that's it. Even though I notice a new scent, make-up, new clothes or shoes, I will not bother to comment on it unless probed.
At least now, I will bother to take a second look and 'appraise' what the person is wearing, and shower compliments when appropriate. And of course, if I don't look at people, why would I look at myself as well?
That holds true until recently as well. I am more conscious of myself already, not in the vain sense, but the awareness sense. Being a frequent web surfer, I always thought colours hold the main factor in whether clothes and shoes will be compatible.
I now know that, hey, even if the colours are not complementary or contrasting, they still can match. The main thing is the design. I just hope I catch up fast enough to have at least a decent knowledge of fashion.
The third thing I want to talk about is regrets. I've always thought that I will never regret anything I do. Sad to say, that's just an ideal which I hope I can live by, and it starts by learning to live.
So, I just wish to reminisce on my life and reflect upon what I've regretted. It will start from my birth up to this point in my life.
-I regret that I was born at the time and place that I was, though I could not have changed that. But it would have changed my life tremendously, and I dont mean about the future. Something at birth made me who I am now.
-I dont regret that I was born into my family now. I have all the freedom I can get, though not all the familial comfort in the world.
-I dont regret going to tuition. My very first tuition teacher was my very best, the one who is the base of who I am now.
-I dont regret going to WVPS, where I met the best of friends and had wonderful moments which marked my primary school years as the best part of my academic life yet.
-I regret not studying hard enough to make it into RV like the rest of my friends. I know I could have made it, but I wouldnt have deserved it if I did not even study.
-I did not, however, regret coming to CCKSS, where I met friends who I will not forget, particularly in my Sec 3, 4, and repeat of 4.
-I regret, very very much, not taking literature in Sec 3. I could have scored well in that.
-I also did not regret, not for any price, retaking Os. If not for that, I would not have met someone, who means a lot as a friend, and also who is different from the rest of my friends; Wan yi. Of course, there are other friends whom I made in that year, whom I feel are better than those I made in the last 4 years of secondary school life.
-I regretted going into Architecture. I thought I would like it at first, but interest slowly turned into dullness, which turned into torture. Though it really is not that bad, since it's more of I could not adapt to the project based curriculum.
-I regret not professing my love for everyone I care for, most of all my grandfather. So I hope, if I ever say 'I love you', 'I like you', don't shun me or think that I am just making a joke. It takes a great deal of courage to say, and if just because you think that we will stay like that forever, it's time to wake up.
Blogged at 1:45 am
