To have a friend and be a friend is what makes life worthwhile.
That's the one of the best parts of life, second only to having a partner for life. My mind has been trying to put myself down quite a bit recently, which inevitably gets my mood down.
One of them is the fact that I'm always alone. I have got nothing against being so, in fact I prefer solitude, but sometimes, I stay alone too long, which gets me lonely.
But when I am yearning for the company of a friend, it feels as it I do not have anyone who can just sit down and just have each other's company for hours.
And that leads me to think that I have not been a good enough friend for anyone. It's not up to me to judge, and deep down, I would rather a friend step up and say,"Hey, you've been a great friend and I really appreciate you."
It is hard being an introvert, especially if you are a guy. I dont tend to be the one to take initiative, in striking up conversations, in contacting old friends, in offering help and in letting people into my life. I am not contemplating suicide, and I really hope that day will never come.
Another thing would be, something in my life that's well. I'm not complaining about the state of the life I am in, but it is really wretched now. My academic life is flailing in distress, my social life has not been alive for a very long time, my financial life is nothing to be proud of and my psychological life is on the decline.
My optimism has been high since I was young, always pushing me towards positives in times of adversity or rough patches. However, it is waning of recent. I dont feel as pumped or motivated, where in the past I would be.
In typing all these down, I am not expecting anyone to pity or sympathise with me. It is for me to pour out my feelings and seek release. I really want to feel happy again.
Even if you make the biggest sacrifices, it does not always mean that the other party will appreciate it and reciprocate. I dont think I am a sacrificial lamb, and I hope that at least someday, you can tell that I have done that much for you, and do the same for me.
You can only grow if you're willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.
Blogged at 1:51 am
